Martha sat in the media room in the TARDIS playing one of the many video games on offer. After nearly being killed by a living sun and then meeting Daleks in 1930s in Manhattan of all places, Martha was beginning to wonder just how Vairë kept from going insane. Sure, the adventure and the thrill of seeing new things were great. But the woman never stopped. She ran from one place to another. She never paused to think about what had happened. She barely slept. Martha could see the bags under Vairë’s eyes and knew that it was only the most skillful application of make-up that hid them from those who didn’t already suspect they were there. The only times Vairë sat still at all were when she was poring over some heavy tome – something to do with physics, generally – or when she was talking to the ship.
Martha knew that the ship was intelligent. Frequently, it could move rooms around to make it easier for her to get to where she needed to be. It had moved the infirmary closer to her when she’d needed to take care of Vairë during a night terror that seemed to go on for hours and then again when she’d discovered that the blonde was hiding third-degree burns from her after their run in with the Daleks and a lightning storm atop the Empire State building. However, she couldn’t quite make herself believe that the ship was alive and sentient. Even with all of the traveling through time and space, Martha Jones couldn’t wrap her head around the idea of a living space ship.
“What kind of technology does it take to build one of these?” she’d asked Vairë shortly after they’d escaped the attack of an outraged living sun.
“Oh, they weren’t built. They were grown. The Time Lords weren’t the only species to be born on Gallifrey.”
“Is that what you are? A Time Lord?”
“No, I’m human. Born and raised on planet Earth.”
“But the Judoon scanners said…”
“Okay, maybe I’m changing a bit. Into what, I don’t know,” Vairë laughed, making light of it. Still, Martha had seen how her face grew taut and pale. Vairë was terrified of what was happening to her. “Still, I’m from Earth. Same as my mum and dad. Completely human, me. Just another hairless ape compared to a Time Lord.”
“So, if you’re human, how did you get this ship?”
“Oh,” Vairë sighed. “That’s a long story. Short version is that I met up with this Time Lord. Helped him out a bit. He offered to take me traveling – after he blew up my job,” Vairë laughed. “I went with him without a second thought when he told me this ship could travel in time. He showed me the wonders of the universe. But then he found someone more suited to him and decided to stay with her. So, his ship and I became friends and decided to travel around a bit together.”
“How did you become friends with her?”
Vairë had chewed her lower lip. “I suppose…well, I always knew she was special,” she said fondly, rubbing a nearby coral strut. “But it really started at the Game Station. The Time Lord had sent me back home to keep me safe but I wasn’t just going to let him die there. So, I opened the heart of the TARDIS and took the Time Vortex into my head so I could communicate with her and get her to take me back so we could save him. I don’t really remember what happened after that. Just that I woke up and he was safe. After that, I could hear her better in my head. Like we had some kind of bond or something. Then, when he left both of us to be with the love of his life, Maggie and I became sisters.”
“I see,” Martha said, even if she didn’t. Still, she really admired Vairë. The woman might look far younger than she but she was so knowledgeable and experienced. Martha herself was no slouch but Vairë had a quick mind and a lot of creativity. More often than not, it was the blonde who pulled them out of dangerous situations. Not to mention she had a hell of a gob on her. “This Time Lord, what was he called?”
“The Doctor,” Vairë said, sounding as if the words were being dragged out of her. “He was called the Doctor.”
“Doctor who?”
“Just ‘the Doctor.’ I never knew his proper name.”
“Why not?”
“Time Lord thing,” Vairë muttered, waving her hand. “Only a Time Lord’s family knows his name. The only person outside his family he can reveal his name to is his wife. The reverse for a Time Lady. She can only tell her true name to her husband. Not that Time Lord marriages are like human marriages. Apparently they were all arranged. Especially between the major houses. Had to do with politics and genetic compatibility and all that rot. In the later years, they didn’t even reproduce like we do. They grew new generations on the great Looms.”
“That sounds…really alien,” Martha had giggled. “If they couldn’t tell each other their real names, what did they do?”
“Oh, they had nicknames,” Vairë explained. “They weren’t allowed to choose titles until they completed their training at the Academy. For Gallifreyans who didn’t go to the Academy, their nicknames were their daily names.”
“Sounds like a really complicated society. One that I’m glad I’m not part of.”
“They were the eldest ones,” Vairë sighed softly. “The first to awaken. Their lives span countless eons. Of course they had a society and rules to match it. Otherwise, they’d have broken down into anarchy.”
“How do you know all this? Did the Doctor tell you about it?”
“No. I told you. Time Lords weren’t the only race to be born of Gallifrey. TARDISes were born there as well. Maggie’s told me a lot about it. She’s homesick. She’d love to go back there, to the Continent of Wild Endeavor. To watch the twin suns rise and set over the red grass and the silver forests, their lights hitting the leaves until it seemed that the entire thing was aglow in a gentle forest fire. To gaze down from the mountains upon the great glass-domed city of the Time Lords…it was beautiful, Gallifrey. Beautiful and dead before its time. The Time Lords paid the ultimate price so that the rest of the cosmos might live on.”
“Were they gods then? These Time Lords?”
“No. They were not. They were observers…until the latter days. Sworn never to interfere with the lesser races. The Doctor was a rebel. He couldn’t stand to sit idly by while evil roamed. He got in trouble for that. A lot. But then the Time War came and brought horrors that the Time Lords couldn’t imagine. It began to change them. They faced the Nightmare Child, the Could-Have-Been King and his armies of Meanwhiles and Never-Weres, the Horde of Travesties, the Skaro Degradations,” Vairë shuddered. “Maggie remembers them. She remembers the Fall of Arcadia where the Doctor fought on the front lines. She remembers the Moment when he had to decide between destroying his enemies and his people or letting the whole of the cosmos fall to the Daleks and their determination to wipe out everything. He pushed the button, so to speak, and he’s never forgiven himself for it. But the war had changed the Time Lords. They were no longer content to observe the cosmos, never interfering. They wanted to rule it. War changes people – whether they be humans or Time Lords. It leaves its mark, its scars. On Earth, we will be centuries recovering from the Great War and the Second World War. Magnolia, my friend, she said that the stain of slavery and the Civil War would haunt her people for countless generations. She was always wiser than she seemed,” Vairë shivered.
“Magnolia?”
“Magnolia Gloria. Claimed her ancestors sang for kings and queens. Born and raised in the South. She could sing. Oh God, that woman could sing. I always envied her a bit at that.”
“But you’ve got a beautiful voice, Vairë. I’ve heard you sing us through time and space.”
“I used to sing. Back…before I met the Doctor. I wanted to be a singer. Figured it was my way off the Estates. Then I met Jimmy Stone,” her visage grew dark. The last sentence was said in a soft, dull undertone that frightened Martha.
“He was the one who beat you half to death?”
Vairë’s hazel eyes flashed, “Who told you that?”
“I’m sorry…I checked your medical history. I saw where you’d been brought into an A&E when you were seventeen. You were barely alive. You’d been left in an alley to die. Was that what he did to you?”
Vairë had fallen silent. Her face had become a marble mask. No emotion, no thought, registered on it. She’d lost control of her thoughts and had upset her new friend. It wouldn’t happen again, she vowed. Her pain was her own. No one else needed to suffer it. “You know what,” she’d said after a long pause, “I think I should take you to the fair on Galaxon IV. You’d love it there.”
So now, Martha sat, playing Guitar Hero of all things, and trying to piece together what was gnawing at Vairë. The woman was wonderful. If she went back to Earth, she could easily revolutionize the entire human race with what she knew. But she didn’t. She held herself apart. She rarely talked much about her own past. The ship’s past, sure. The future? No problem. But who she was? The events that had shaped her? On those, Vairë was as silent as the grave.
“What are you playing?” the blonde’s voice carried across the media center. “Guitar Hero? Wow. I’ve not played that since Mi…since one of my friends was on board.”
“Yeah. I kind of suck at it. I can do okay with the guitar but I can’t make it through a single song on the drums. Even on Easy Mode. And singing? Ha. Wanna come make a band with me? You could play whatever you wanted.” Vairë looked uncertain. “Oh, come on. You’re one hell of a singer. You sing, I’ll play the guitar. Maybe we’ll drop in on London and pick up a handsome drummer and sexy bassist.”
“All right,” Vairë said, dragging the words out. “I can sing, I guess. I’m not coordinated enough for the drums. What’ll we call this band?”
“Hm. Oh, I know! The Travelers!”
“I like that!” Vairë laughed as she picked up the microphone. “So, what song will we tackle first?”
“I’ve been working on ‘Rooftops.’ I’ve almost got it down on Expert Mode,” Martha bragged. “Wanna give it a shot?”
“Yeah. Lemme just make my avatar,” Vairë muttered as she fiddled with the controls while she constructed her character. Once she had her avatar made – a woman who looked remarkably like her only with big blue eyes like Maggie had – she went through the options and soon she and Martha were playing. This was fun. Being in the media room, playing a video game with a friend. Vairë had missed this bit of traveling. Several evenings she, Mickey, and the Doctor had sat in here until she and Mickey were nearly asleep playing Guitar Hero or some other multi-player game. Some nights she just watched as the Doctor and Mickey tried to out-do each other at Halo or Half Life. The Doctor never used weapons even in those games but still managed to win almost every time. And before Mickey had joined them, she and the Doctor had spent hours sitting together, each reading their own books, enjoying the companionable silence.
Martha listened and was amazed at how lovely Vairë’s voice was as she started singing the song. For her part, Vairë let memories wash over her as she sang. They added depth and emotion to her performance. And, they helped her to remember without hurting. Vairë finished the song, a few tears having fallen down her cheeks. “Another?” Martha asked. “We got a perfect score on that one. You’re really a great singer, Vairë. I wish I had half your talent!”
“Nah,” Vairë sighed. “I’m knackered. You should get some sleep, too, Martha Jones. The fairs of Galaxon IV take a lot of energy. So many shops, so little time!”
Without another word, the blonde had bounded out of the room. Martha stared after her once she was gone. Vairë was a really great singer. She’d put her heart into that performance even if it was just a video game. And the way she’d cried…there was more to her than she was revealing. Martha had a suspicion it had something to do with this ‘Doctor’ she’d mentioned. Whatever it took, the medical student was determined to get to the bottom of it.
~*~*~*~
Martha grinned as she watched Vairë balance precariously on the TARDIS’s console. She was tying some ribbons around the Time Rotors. The girls had decided to go on a shopping spree back on a planet that Vairë knew well. She’d helped to restore the rightful ruling family to power, toppling a cruel dictatorship that she said made the Nazis look like choirboys. Martha loved the new outfits she’d gotten. And, she’d managed to convince Vairë to do a little shopping of her own. The blonde refused to change anything about her look. She claimed it was just easier to always wear the same kind of clothes even if she did have a wide array of silken scarves. Martha was beginning to see the white blouses, dark slacks, black trainers, and the black leather trench coat as a kind of armor. Vairë’s armor. The clothes she wore to hide herself from the world.
“What about underwear, then?” Martha had asked.
“What about it? Doesn’t really matter, much. Not like anyone’s going to see it other than me when I’m doing the wash.”
“Yeah, but still. Come on. I saw this great lingerie shop. Eventually, I’ll finish my studies and my residency and have time to catch a bloke. At least come help me pick something to make a man’s eyes come out of his head when he sees it.”
“All right, all right. You know, Magnolia would have loved you.”
“Your friend or your sister the space ship?”
“Both. Well, the TARDIS likes you. She’s really glad to have you around. And Magnolia would have liked you, too. She was never really that girly or anything but she did like to come up with ways to bother the boys around her and make them remember that underneath the jeans, t-shirts, and motor oil, she was a girl. Said it was funny. And it was,” Vairë grinned, remembering the time she and Maggie had gone swimming with some of her friends. They’d all been blushes and stammering when Maggie shucked off her clothes to reveal her bathing suit. With Rose, though, they’d never gotten quite like that. Maggie said it was because Rose was so feminine and only came around once a year. Maggie was around those fellows all the time and they did forget that she was a girl. “So, you’re saying you think I should get lingerie? Even though I’m not terribly interested in showing it off to anyone. Ever.”
“Oh, come on! You’re thirty with the body of a twenty-year-old. Surely you’ll find some lucky man and drag him off to the stars.”
“Doubt it. My last few attempts at relationships haven’t been the greatest. And I was a complete arse to the last man who dated me. We got to be friends again but I was horrible to him. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make it up to him even if I could find him again. So, I’m just not going to do that to another innocent fellow. Think I’ll just go the celibate route, thanks.”
Still, Martha had managed to convince Vairë to get a few things. Only, once they were done with their own shopping, Vairë decided to buy yards and yards of ribbons and lace in addition to some gears and gadgets she said that her sister would like. Which is why the blonde woman was now tying ribbons around the Time Rotors. She said that Maggie might like to “feel pretty” too.
The mental image of a space ship feeling pretty made Martha start to giggle. She threw her head back and laughed uproariously. It was so silly. It was so perfect. It was so Vairë.
“Oh, she likes it,” Vairë said as she leapt lightly off the console, landing on the metal grill floor. “The Doctor never dressed her up. Just changed her desktop between regenerations. She likes feeling pretty. Um, no. No way. Leather? Are you serious, Maggie? Black leather? With lace? All right, all right. I’ll see if I can find some soon.”
“What does she want black leather for?” Martha guessed that Vairë was talking to the ship and was hearing something back from her. Maybe telepathy wasn’t impossible.
“She wants to feel sexy,” Vairë said, her lips quirking into a grin. “My sister, an eleven dimensional creature who can travel through. Time. And. Space. Wants to feel sexy. Oh, this is great. This was a great idea. Thanks so much, Martha!” Vairë collapsed on the jump seat, clutching her sides, and roared with laughter. Martha joined her and could have sworn that she felt the ship laughing with them. It was wonderful. After all the adventures and all the dangers, the three of them were sitting in the console room of an impossible ship, bags of lingerie from a planet that was hundreds of light-years from the Earth, laughing like idiots.
Vairë laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks and her sides ached. She hadn’t laughed like this in ages. She couldn’t remember feeling so relaxed and just…happy since Scotland, 1879. Back when she and the Doctor had bet ten quid over whether or not she could get Queen Victoria to say “we are not amused.” Back when she had just been Rose Tyler. Back before meeting Sarah Jane and then being left behind when a better woman entered the scene. It felt good to laugh again. To have a friend other than Maggie. To do something completely ridiculous like dressing the TARDIS in black leather and lace.
“Oh, God, I think I might have sprained something,” Vairë sighed happily once she and Martha started to wind down. “Thank you, Martha. Thank you so much.”
Martha started to argue, to point out that it was Vairë who had taken her through time and space and that if anyone deserved gratitude, it was the blonde who was the designated driver. But then she saw something in Vairë’s eyes. The Londoner wasn’t just saying the words. She meant them. A woman who had seen more and done more than Martha could ever guess, who knew more about every subject than she would ever learn…she was still human and humble enough to feel grateful for a few minutes of hilarity.
“Anytime,” Martha grinned, liking her new friend even more. “Anytime.”
~*~*~*~
Martha grinned whenever she looked at the ribbons tied in elaborate bows on the Time Rotors. She and Vairë had found more opportunities for silliness and laughter in the weeks since. And, the blonde woman had finally started sleeping again. True, she mostly cat-napped and the smallest sound would wake her. But, her night terrors had receded and she seemed to be opening up more. Vairë still wouldn’t tell Martha much about her past and the one time Martha had asked about the Time Lord and whether they could visit him at some point and meet his wife, Vairë had paled and looked almost as if she were about to cry before her face had become a mask and she’d said that the TARDIS was still a little miffed about him leaving her.
Vairë also refused to visit France in any era. At first Martha had just taken this for the normal Anglo-Saxon disdain for France. The two countries had been allies for a long time but it would be generations and centuries more before they were friends. However, when she would prod too much about wanting to visit France, alarm bells would start sounding in her mind and she got the sense that both Vairë and the TARDIS couldn’t stomach the subject for very long. So, Martha had taken to asking about other people and places they could go see. Vairë took her to Barcelona, wistful the entire trip even while they laughed and told and re-told the joke about dogs with no noses. Vairë had sighed as they got back in the TARDIS and headed off to another destination. Martha could have sworn she heard her whisper “You were right, Doctor. It’s still funny.”
Martha checked her calendar and sighed. She’d been traveling with Vairë for six months now. She hadn’t been back to Earth since their run in with the Daleks back in New York in the 1930s. She wanted to go home for a while. Get some rest. Return to her studies and complete them. Visit with her family. And then there was that memorial she wanted to attend. Her cousin Adie would be mentioned in it since she’d died at Canary Wharf. Also, Martha got the sense that Vairë traveled and ran so much because she was out to prove something to someone. That meant that Vairë had a bit of a reckless streak. She lived on the edge of danger most of the time and had already come close to falling off into the abyss. Maybe Vairë could stay with her for a while. Just hang out and bang around London. Smart as she was, the woman could probably use her considerable gob to land any job she wanted. And, for all her talk about being celibate and not terribly interested in anyone, Martha had caught Vairë staring off into space obviously daydreaming about a bloke. She’d denied it, of course, saying that it would never happen but Martha had seen enough things to know that one had to be careful before they said “never ever.”
For her part, Vairë was aware that Martha was getting tired and homesick. Vairë herself was homesick but not just for Earth. She wished she could visit her family trapped on that parallel world. She wished she could hang out with Mickey again. But most of all, she wished that the Doctor were with her. Even if he did bring Reinette on board. She missed his voice. His smell. His gob. She even missed the way he would stare at her as if she’d dribbled on her shirt when she had to ask him to explain himself after one of his hundred-mile-an-hour explanations that made no sense whatsoever. She missed watching him stroke the TARDIS and hold court with his ship. She missed the evenings in the media center where, more often than not, she’d fallen asleep on the couch with him while they watched some movie or documentary and he made fun of all the inaccuracies. She missed sitting next to him in the library as they read. He’d gotten her interested in some of Earth’s classics. He used to recite Pride and Prejudice to her. He’d laughed in delight when he saw her reading Wuthering Heights. She missed his hand in her own as they ran towards adventure.
It had been ten years now and she still loved him as much as she had when he’d ridden away from her to pursue the most accomplished woman on Earth. She was beginning to think that she’d never stop loving him and never stop searching for a way to prove herself to him. Sometimes she wondered if it was her own fear that kept her from being able to go get him. She knew that her sister was angry and was refusing but Vairë suspected that if her own terror wasn’t so close to the surface, she’d be able to convince the TARDIS to make the trip regardless. And, she wondered if the ship missed her errant pilot as much as Vairë did.
Still, when Martha finally broached the topic of an extended break on Earth, Vairë had to exercise all of her self-control not to start weeping. Would everyone leave her in the end? Was she not good enough to keep anyone around? The old doubts and fears began clawing their way out of the dark reaches of her mind.
“I’d love it if you stay around my place for a bit,” Martha was saying, pulling Vairë out of her dark thoughts. “I know that staying in one place is difficult for you but there’s my brother Leo’s birthday next week. That will be entertaining if for no other reason than my family puts the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional. Oh, and then my sister’s got this new job and they’ve got some kind of new technology they’re going to show off the week after that. I don’t have a date but I’d love it if you’d come with me as my friend. Maybe we can even find a few blokes to bring back to the TARDIS with us so we can have four people in our band.”
“You want me to stay with you? For how long?” Vairë asked, wondering if she was hearing things correctly.
“A week at least. As long as you’d like, though. I know you’ll be itching to get back out there but I just need some down time. It feels like I’ve been away forever. Don’t worry, though. As soon as I finish my studies, I’m going to want to get right back out there with you. There’s too much to see for me to want to stay on Earth forever. I just miss my crazy family. Maybe you could go visit your family or some of your friends while you’re with me? My place isn’t big but you could bring them ‘round for dinner one night.”
“I can’t, Martha. Bring my friends or family ‘round.”
“Why not?”
“Because…they’re gone. I lost them at Canary Wharf.”
“Oh God. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry to hear that! Maybe you’d feel better if you went to the memorial service. They’re building a monument to those who died that day at Canary Wharf. It’s supposed to have some big statue of the woman who saved the Earth by getting rid of those Cybermen and Daleks.”
“No, I couldn’t go,” Vairë shuddered. Five years later for her and those wounds still bled.“I don’t think I could stand it. But, I’ll stay with you for a bit. Meet your family. Be your plus-one at your sister’s job’s…thing. They’re not going to think we’re…”
“God no! Everyone knows I’m boy crazy.”
“Good. Just…this friend I traveled with before. It was weird. Everyone thought we were together even though it just wasn’t going to happen. I’m sure you’re a lovely woman and all but I just don’t swing that way. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just not my cup of tea.”
“Same here. So, back to my place the morning after we left?”
“Your place. And this time it will only be twelve hours.”
“I still can’t believe that Time Lord dropped you off a year late.”
“He failed his driving test,” Vairë quipped, remembering the TARDIS’s joke about how terrible the Doctor’s driving could be. “Luckily for me,” she said, patting the console fondly, “I had an excellent instructor.”
~*~*~*~
Vairë grinned to herself as she watched the bickering. It was obvious to her that Martha’s mother and father were still very much in love with one another even if they’d been divorced for years. They just were too pig-headed and stubborn to see it. Granted, the girlfriend was a bit of a bint who seemed to enjoy putting Martha’s mother Francine down. Vairë stayed out of the family squabbles, though, giving Martha a friendly nod and a gaze that communicated her understanding when things came to a head. She could even feel a little sorry for Clive. His current girlfriend Annalise was very young. She was around Martha’s age. “Typical bloke behavior,” Vairë thought to herself as she made her way through the crowd at the party to get another drink. “Always looking to get the newest model after they’ve chucked out the old one.” Only the fact that Clive still obviously loved Francine and their children – even if he was being a complete git at the moment – redeemed him in Vairë’s eyes.
Martha’s brother and sister were also interesting. Leo was clearly closer to his father and Tish closer to their mother. Martha seemed to be stuck in the middle, constantly being pulled in two directions. Vairë felt sorry for her for that. It was sad to see such a good woman struggling to stay afloat amongst this family drama.
After a while, Martha made her way over to where Vairë hovered on the edge of the crowd, neatly melding into the shadows. “How do you do that?” she asked.
“It’s an old trick my mate taught me. Pretend like you belong somewhere and you’ll blend right in. You’ll be practically invisible. The fact that I’m in mostly black and it’s dark over here is only somewhat incidental.”
“I wish I could just disappear sometimes,” Martha muttered sourly. “Sometimes I feel like I’m the only adult in my family. Mum loves you, by the way. That was smart of you telling her that you’re a photojournalist.”
“Your mum is nice. Your dad is, too, when he’s not thinking with his more southerly head so to speak.”
“Yeah. If his girlfriend were a little older, I don’t think Mum would care so much. It’s the fact that she’s my age that bothers her. That and the fact that the girl doesn’t seem to live in the same reality as the rest of us. No idea where her food and clothes and gifts come from.”
“I’ve known girls like that,” Vairë winced. Only a few and the latest one was the woman who the Doctor chose to stay with. “Not many, though. Grow up in a council Estate and you learn pretty quick that nothing in life is free.”
“You’re from a council Estate?”
Vairë winced. She hadn’t meant to let that slip. “Yeah. Grew up on one.”
Martha seemed to sense that this was a sensitive topic. She didn’t want to scare Vairë off by prying into her past too much. Instead, she sighed and nodded. “You know, this is funny. My mum thinks she remembers seeing your pictures around London a while ago and then saw your picture again when they did a news special on all those who died at Canary Wharf. She said you look a lot like a girl named Rose Tyler.”
“That is funny,” Vairë said carefully. “I get that a lot.”
“Oh, so you knew her? She grew up on a council Estate, too.”
“Yeah, I knew her. We were close, once,” Vairë replied. She wasn’t really lying. Just…making the truth stand on its head. She was relieved to see that Martha hadn’t noticed how panicked she was. The last thing she needed was someone finding out Rose Tyler was alive. That would throw her into the middle of a firestorm. Not to mention how much it would hurt to be Rose Tyler again. Vairë was as much her armor as her clothing was. She could distance herself from her old life. She still hurt but…not the same. “Rose Tyler died at Canary Wharf,” she said softly. “She and her mother and her best mate Mickey. She died and she’ll never come back.”
“I’m so sorry,” Martha whispered. “C’mon. This party stinks and I’m sick of listening to my family fight. Let’s go find a bar, round up a couple of blokes, and see if we can dance them into the floor. Winner gets breakfast in bed.”
“Sure thing,” Vairë grinned. “D’you like your eggs scrambled or just burnt?”