My husband

Can scare the absolute crap out of me. I may kill him when he gets home.*

Today, as per usual, he sent me a message around lunch time so we could discuss what he needed to get at the store. He does this every day between noon and 2 pm without fail. I was busy with some work at the moment and told him to hold on for a second. A few minutes later, I replied to him and then waited.

A little background: my husband has been known to pass out. It doesn’t happen often. It’s been years since it happened last but the last times it did happen he was either ill or under stress. He’s just finished his dissertation and has his defense coming up. That means he’s a little stressed and worried. He wasn’t feeling great this weekend. So, today, when he stopped responding to my messages and didn’t answer the cell phone and didn’t answer the apartment phone when I called after almost three hours of no response, I started to get a little worried that he had passed out and maybe hit his head.

So, like any normal wife, I finish everything I had to do for today in about ten minutes, told my supervisor, and rushed home.

…to an empty apartment.

So, I called him. Guess what? He had a meeting with his adviser which he forgot to tell me about. He didn’t say a word over the messenger to tell me he was going. Just left it there. So, from 4:45 until 6:30, I had the joy of freaking out, imagining him home, pouring over his dissertation, making corrections, not feeling well, passing out and cracking open his skull with no one here to know or call for help and his ass was down at his university talking to his adviser.

He’s on his way home now. I may kill him when he gets here.* No jury on earth would convict.

*I would not seriously kill my husband. This is what we call “sarcasm.”

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